Friday, July 13, 2007

What did you do today, sweetheart?

I wasn't always a stay at home mommy, and it wasn't a decision Jehromy and I came to lightly. In fact, we both fought it tooth and nail, because of some hilarious miscommunication. He thought that I needed to work in order to feel like I was contributing to the family, and decided that he would not be the one to force me to quit working, even though he thought our family would be happier with me at home. I thought that I'd lose all respect from him if I admitted that I really didn't want to go to work and miss out on all my kids were doing- even if it was diaper blowouts and weird science with the kitty litter.

So, for the first few months we were together, he worked as a delivery driver for Budweiser, and I worked as a bartender. Doesn't that just sound like a match made in drunk heaven? We had opposite schedules, so one of us was always at home while the other was at work. Which worked ok for the kids, but soon Jehromy started calling a babysitter more and more often so he could hang out with me at work. When I realized that he was paying the babysitter more than I was earning, I told him he either had to quit visiting me so much, or I need to quit working. He finally admitted that he really liked having me home when he got home from work, and that he just missed me too much when I went to work, and would I feel horrible if he wanted me to stay home? I was so relieved. I've gone back to work at odd jobs a couple times since then, as needs have dictated, and those experiences have only solidified our committment to put our family first.

The other fantastic side effect of the opposing schedules was that Jehromy got to be home alone with the kids, and got a small taste of life as a stay at home parent- sort of. It was enough that I know when he asks what I did today, it is out of interest in my life, not a question of derision. And on those days when I say it was a worthless waste of a day, he'll find something I did right, even when I just see everything I didn't do. The way he sees it, the most important thing I can do in any day is make sure the kids know they are loved. The rest is gravy. Or icing. Or whatever you like best.

1 comment:

Lynn Marie said...

He sounds like a keeper to me! Glad to see that you can put a title on the post again.