Hello again

I work in a library. I am not a librarian. I wish I were a librarian. Maybe then I might get paid enough to cover a bill or two. No, I have a fancy title, “Law Library Assistant” that nets me minimum wage and some very strange questions from the library patrons. One of the most memorable of these would be the gentleman who wanted me to help him ascertain if he is married.

I am not kidding.

I have been married twice, and divorced once, and yet somehow, I have never been confused as to what my marital status might be.

So. Four hours a day, Monday thru Friday, I pretend to know something about the law, and pretend to be working. I get a lot of homework done here at work. Which is good, since it doesn’t happen so much at home, what with the kids and husband expecting me to do silly things like, ummm, feed them, and give them a clean house to live in and such.

I’ve been absent a very long time. I’ve been busy. We moved to Colorado to help take care of my mom, who, as it turns out, only wanted our help in theory. The reality was a tad different.
We moved back, thankful our house didn’t sell, and hoped to pick up where we left off. Feel free to drink the Kool Aid with me, it’s some good stuff.

Hubs worked three jobs for awhile, and I job hunted like mad til I landed the library gig. Hubs’ dedication to work wound up screwing up his resume by making it look like he couldn’t hold a job- none of the HR idiots bothered to read the dates to see that he held three at once, not three in a row. He finally got on at Rimrock drilling, which he loved, then got laid off. After a couple months of him going so stir crazy that he painted the house purple (again, not kidding, our house is now a landmark), he landed a job at a certain soft drink company that I can’t name for fear they’ll fire him since I don’t have one single nice thing to say about them. We thought everything would be better, but really, he’s on salary and the company he works for that shall remain nameless seems to think that salary means they own his ass. He has gotten one full weekend off in four months. He works more now than he did when he was a driller and gets paid less than half what he got paid as a driller. Good times.

This past year, I have been rejected many time while job hunting, and for a promotion too. No big deal. Dealt with the family fallout of choosing my kids over my mom. Really, not impossible to handle. Waded through financial woes like I’d never had to deal with before. I think we’ll survive.
Through it all, I leaned on God, and prayed a lot. I thought I had this faith thing all figured out. Now I know the truth. And the truth is that I’m a naïve, trusting, idiot. While I still believe in God, I no longer believe that going to church is really in my best interest, or that of my family. Because that’s where I got the knife in my back that will probably never fully quit bleeding. Put there by my former pastor.

So, I’m back to my blog, a little wiser, more bitter (but trying not to be- don't worry, I'll get past it), but hopefully tougher than before. I’m back because I want to remember the happy and the good as well as the crappy. I want to look back and think, I survived that so I’m sure I can survive this. And I want to remember all the cute, funny, and downright maddening things my kids do. Because they are already getting way too big, way too fast, and my steel trap of a brain has given way to a steel sieve of a memory. So here I am again.