Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Just got done with one of the more awkward conversations I've had in awhile. Can a phone conversation with your priest in which you (gently) accuse everyone in the church a busybody and a know it all be anything but awkward?

Don't get me wrong. I didn't use those words. But I feel like I might as well have. I tried to be nice, and I tried to be gentle. I could still hear the hurt and disappointment in her voice. I just broke up with my church and it was harder than breaking up with a boyfriend ever was.

She called to tell me she (and the rest of the congregation) had been missing us, and were we all right? I thanked her for her concern, and informed her that Jerhomy and I had decided I needed to worship with the children at home for awhile. She asked why, understandably. I told her that the children had been having many behavior problems, especially Bug, and that we had pinpointed the church as the source. Not a surprise, the priest was very distressed and asked for clarification. I explained that every time (not most times, every) I disciplined any of the kids I would be undermined by a grandparently type person telling the offending child, "Oh, it's ok, kids will be kids." or telling me not to be so hard on them. They might as well have told the kids that their mom and dad don't know a darn thing and they should do whatever they want whenever they want! On a weekly basis! The behavior was atrocious on weeks following our church attendance, and not so bad when we skipped for a week or two.

I understand that with mine being the only kids attending the church regularly for the past year or so, and with most of the congregation being into retirement, the urge to grandparent probably got the better of them. However, as their parents, Hubs and I had to make the decision that we felt was best for our family. I just wish he'd been the one to handle that phone call. I feel like such a bad person right now.


Aiming at Proverbs 31 said...

Hi, I just found your blog from Inspired by a True Story. You should be able to be supported in disciplining your children at church, but it is always harder in public, than at home. Always take a look at someone's children to know who to take child rearing advise from those people whose children have grown into people you like and would like yours to be like(note: not necessarily from others with small children). I don't have a blog, but my daughter does, and it is:

Aunt Murry said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog. I'm sorry that you had to break up with your church. It's a hard thing to do.

Qtpies7 said...

Vida, Wow, it looks like we have lots of interests in common, lol. Many of the same links, and I even had Hillbilly Housewife in my favorites for years now, lol.
Thanks for stopping by my blog today! Just thought I'd stop by and mention that I am not offended by all of those questions, some are just something you hear alllllllll the time, lol. Some are offensive, though, or just plain rude. "How do you do it?" is not rude or offensive, and the awe and seriousness comes through. I know that I don't want to be looked up to, like on a pedastal, because I can't parent 7 kids on my own, it takes a huge and awesome Lord to renew me every morning and forgive me minute by minute!
I don't know if I will ever stop wanting kids, really. The Bible says "the womb never stops wanting" or something along those lines, I really should memorize that, hehe.
Its perfectly normal to not only want more kids, but to trust God with however many He gives you. I've even asked God for a break between kids, and trusted Him to give it to me, or strengthen me, and I got a longer break than I even asked for! He waited until I was near begging for another baby.